I am a very productive, dedicated woman who only believes in monogamy. I was in a relationship with my boyfriend in college 2 years before I decided to finally have sex for the first time. To my surprise, he cheated on me while I was pregnant and he passed me the type two virus. Since then, my life and THOUGHT PROCESS has went straight down the toilet.

Before this incident, I was the woman that everyone looked up to. I had a good head on my shoulders and I was not into dating. I was a self-motivated person: I was involved in school (college), I was very popular, I was involved in extra curricular activities and social organizations, I was a student leader, I was into sports, having fun, and just an overall fun-loving person. Guys wanted me 24/7, but I just wasn't interested because I was completely aware of how sex and relationships can interfere with your life and what you are trying to accomplish. I'm eating my words now because you name it and I've been through it... in the most minimal amount of time.

Now, it seems that nothing matters. I just don't understand how someone can try so hard to avoid life's little game and end up being stuck in it! I'm still in school, but I just feel like all these people who think so highly of me would turn their back on me if they really knew the NEW ME. People to this day say "I wish I was in your shoes, you are so blessed" and I'm thinking, "If you only knew".

I know I have a lot to offer to the world, but I feel that I cannot be completely open and honest with people anymore. I was the typical person to say "UGH, ewh" if someone told me that they had what I have now, so it's hard to expect people NOT to judge me back. I just don't know what to do, but I do keep on pushing, regardless. The only difference between me now and then is that I lost THE POINT to do everything. I"m still doing it, I just lost the DRIVE to want to do things for ME and the DRIVE to want to build a foundation for my future well-being (marriage, kids, career, a good life).

I am a good person and I didn't do anything wrong but make a horrible decision to have unprotected sex with someone who betrayed me and left me. I believe that good comes out of every situation, but this time, I am just at a complete loss.